Dick Gayson is hot
by GeneratorCat
Summary: The team discusses a certain celebrity. Prequel to 'Dick Grayson is here'


Author's Note: Let's assume no one, not even Kid Flash, knows Robin is Dick Grayson. Also, kind of slashy. Just a bit.

"Dick Grayson is hot."

Robin chokes, spits out his mouthful of cereal elegantly and wipes milk off his lips. "Excuse me?"

Wally waves the open magazine he's reading. "Dick Grayson." He slaps it down on the table in front of Robin, pointing at the boy smiling from the glossy page. "He's hot. Actually, no. He's _pretty._"

Fearing the answer, yelling at himself not to voice the question, Robin asks, "What's the difference?"

Looking as if he's put considerable time and energy into figuring the distinction, Wally proudly declares, "Hot is cheap. Something purely sexual that won't last. Pretty is classy. Has substance. Intriguing."

Robin can't help just staring at Kid Flash, who fidgets under the scrutiny. "What?" he finally asks.

"I uh. I didn't know you… thought of boys that way."

Wally scoffs amusedly. "I think of everyone that way. Besides, that is mostly objective assessment. The guy is attractive," he shrugs. "That's just a fact."

Artemis saunters in to the kitchen and Wally waves her over.

"What's up, Kid Dork?"

Rolling his eyes at the insult, Wally motions toward the magazine. "What do you think of Dick Grayson?"

"Well I don't know much about him, as far as his personality goes. I assume he's a standard spoiled rich kid." She picks up the magazine and looks… _longingly?_ at the picture. "But damn, he is gorgeous."

"See?" Wally crosses his arms triumphantly. "Told you. Fact."

"I'm sure it requires more than two people's opinions to become fact." Dick really doesn't know why he's encouraging this argument. He's embarrassed as hell and it's dangerous to talk about _himself_ with his teammates. But Wally just looks so smug.

"Alright then." Raising his voice slightly, Wally calls, "Superboy, come to the kitchen and bring M'gann. Also Kaldur, if you see him."

Artemis and Wally bicker at each other for a few minutes until the three summoned teammates enter. M'gann smiles sweetly and chirps, "Hi! What did you need, Wally?"

"Come here and look at this picture." He holds the magazine out to them. "Tell me what you think."

Superboy is confused. He obviously thought he was being asked to assess something important, something having to do with a mission or weaponry or politics, maybe. Not- "A boy?"

Robin is relieved. It has been so long since someone didn't recognize him. It's short lived, however, as M'gann squeals excitedly like all teenaged girls do. "That's Dick Grayson!"

"Who?" Robin makes a mental note to spend more time with Superboy. The clone's ignorance will be Dick's bliss.

Except that dream is shattered when Kaldur explains, "He is the son of Bruce Wayne, a very rich and influential business man in Gotham."

Simultaneously, Robin and M'gann interject, "Adoptive son."

Superboy looks completely unimpressed and Dick's dream collects itself with glue and tape.

Wally taps his foot impatiently, which turns into a blur of movement. "So, what do you think?"

Clapping her hands and cooing and giggling, M'gann looks like every other fan girl on the planet except with flying. "Oh, he is _so cute_!"

Wally smirks at Robin, who is grateful for the sunglasses he always wears and the too long hair that's covering his ears and the shadow he's conveniently sitting in. Without them everyone would see how red his face has turned. Turning away from Robin, Wally prompts, "Kaldur?"

This time Kaldur is confused. "I cannot give an opinion of the boy. I do not know him."

"No," Wally sighs, exasperated. "Do you think he's attractive?"

"Why do you wish to know?"

"Just answer, please."

"Well, yes-"

"Ha! Superboy?"

"Um. I guess?"

M'gann chimes dreamily, "He has the prettiest blue eyes."

Robin rolls said blue eyes behind his sunglasses.

Grabbing the magazine again, Artemis peers at the picture. "What is he? Like, you know, race? He looks… exotic."

"I think it's called… Gypsy?" M'gann answers.

"The proper designation is Romani." Superboy supplies and Robin is a little surprised until he remembers that Cadmus had taught the cone extensively about world history and cultures. In fact, Superboy probably knows how to speak Romani. That thought makes Dick both swell and cringe. He could talk to someone in his first language. It would be like it was with his parents at the circus. But he can't without jeopardizing his identity.

"So that confirms it." Wally crosses his arms over his chest and leans back precariously in his chair. "One hundred percent of people –at least the people in this mountain- agree that he is fine. It is fact."

Shaking his head, Robin argues, "Only eighty-five point seven percent agree."

Wally looks around, trying to figure who he left out. "Dude, we all said he's hot."

"I didn't." Robin replies.

"What? How can you _not_?" Wally's disbelief is nearly palpable. He shoves the picture at Robin. "Look at him! He's an _Adonis_. Is it because he's a guy?"

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

Trying desperately not to laugh, Robin says simply, "I just don't find him attractive. So it's not a fact."

"But- but…" Wally stammers, trying to compute this unprecedented turn of events. "But _why_?"

Robin stands and shrugs casually. "It's the hair." He walks to the hallway but before he leaves, he turns around and smirks. "I guess I just have a thing for redheads."


End file.
